Drum Journey (Recording): ~30 minutes
Journey to ask for guidance about a ritual I am planning in order to take my life and career to the next level. I traveled to Lower World. Hummingbird met me and took me to the sacred fire, where all the compassionate helping spirits were assembled. I noticed that as I stood before them, my usual muslin outfit changed into a white leather costume (same as Reeds Blowing's cape) with fringe around the edges. I played drum and sang my soul song. When this was done, I addressed the group and asked for assistance. I was told that I should create a ritual around Laxmi and Ganesha, since those are the spirits that connect with you (meaning: India). I'm uncertain which CHS said this. It may have been Grandmother. Also, I would leave the circle to find a power animal that will assist me in advancing my career. I will still work with Mother Brown Bear, who is related to my career. The additional CHS would assist with advancement and obstacle removal. Reeds Blowing came forward and placed his hands on either side of my head. Black tendrils released from my temples. I left the circle with Hummingbird to find my power animal. Immediately, a large, black ant crossed my path. I kept looking, and the land was pretty well devoid of animals at all. No birds, nothing. I saw the glassy eye of the black ant. "Oh. no!" I thought. "Is an ant even a power animal?" I was ashamed of my judgement. I kept looking around. Hummingbird even brought me to the arctic, where I saw a polar bear. But there again on the ice was a black ant. We returned to the mesa, where I saw a huge gathering of ants, scurrying around their hill, moving objects and being very busy. That was four views. I approached an ant and asked, "Are you my power animal?" Yes, Ant responded. I am here to remind you of the strength in small things. We have no distractions. We are primed to move forward and accomplish tasks. When something is in our way, we remove it. No thought. Just action. We are strong. I will be with you to remove obstacles. To remind you of your strength in small stature. I asked if I could merge with Ant. Ant said yes. I became small and stepped into Ant. I felt a surge of energy—light and fast. We joined the other ants and entered the hill. There, I saw the paths and then spaces where larvae were. Also food stores. I was swept up in the speed of the movement. Soon, I disengaged and we returned with Hummingbird and Ant to the sacred fire. I presented Ant to the group. Mother Brown Bear joined us. We were blessed in our presence there. I asked again for any assistance for my ritual. Just after the new moon (waxing), perform the ritual. Hosts will be Laxmi and Ganesha. Bring ancestors in. Heal past trauma and release obstacles. Ant and Ganesha will assist. Offerings and intention. The callback sounded. I thanked everyone and returned.
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Drum Journey (Recording): ~30 minutes
During my morning meditation, I again received a call to journey. As it was with my last journey, I had no intention. I was called to Lower World. Lower World: It was dusk. A pink, purple, and yellow sunset illuminated the mountains ahead of me. Hummingbird came to greet me. It had been some time since I journeyed, and I was ashamed. I said something of the sort to Hummingbird, but even as the words left my lips, I could see that they were irrelevant. Hummingbird flew off eastward, and I followed. On the path, I stopped to lean against a tree as I was very overcome and tired. I thought I needed to set an intention, so I tried to. My OR shamanic teacher, Elaine, told me I should ask about a recent dream I had.* My mind went into the dream again and replayed the confusing part. Hummingbird said, You already know the meaning of the dream. I was transported quickly to a field where there was a sacred fire with a ring of small fires around it. Reeds Blowing sat at the edge of it, sprinkling powdered herbs into the fire. I wondered what he was doing here, since I usually meet him in Upper World unless there is a gathering at the council fire. I knew not to ask, though. Grandmother, too, was there, tearing up pieces of red organ meat and throwing them on the fire. Great Walker drummed in the background. I noticed then that I had a blue plaster stuck to my lower abdomen. I asked what it was. Reeds Blowing said it was made of Blue Poppy, Camphor, Mustard, and other herbs. I asked Grandmother what she was putting on the fire. Your uterus, she said. I was shocked. "Does that mean I don't have a uterus anymore?" Of course not, this is a symbol. This is your old uterus. It is diseased, carrying the pain of your ancestors. You will receive a new one. Grandmother began singing and walking around the fire. She gestured violently toward the fire, as if casting out dark energy. The flames rose with each gesturing. Grandmother took a burning stick from the fire and placed it on my abdomen. I was moving quickly without volition: lying down, sitting up, standing... She placed her hands on my lower back and abdomen as she sang. She led me around the fire, singing. Great Walker tossed me my drum, and I drummed along and sang with her. Soon, I felt pressure in my abdomen. The plaster was removed. I crouched on the grass and passed the uterus out of my body. It was not painful, but it was difficult work. Grandmother took it and threw it on the fire. Immediately, smoke-like beings rose from the fire and into the atmosphere. I recognized them as my ancestors—women and men. They clouded the sky. She and Reeds Blowing began to chant together. Reeds Blowing took a staff and stirred in the air. This whipped the smokey spirit beings around like cotton candy on his staff. He then hurled them into space. I could see or sense them all settling into the lost soul places where they belonged if they had allowed themselves to return Home and be redistributed as Nature intended. Grandmother crafted a small clay vessel within the fire. She blew into its opening spirit energy and placed various herbs within it. This, she placed over my abdomen, where it sunk in, assuming the place of my old uterus. I was very tired. I found myself mentally drifting, then "awoke" to find myself lying in a room on a bed, recovering. Everything felt very slow. I heard Grandmother's voice tell me that I needed to rest now. Callback sounded. I thanked, Hummingbird, Reeds Blowing, Grandmother, and Great Walker then returned. ________________________ *Friends of my estranged husband banged a hole in my wall, claiming that I was hiding gold in there. I assured them I was not. They found nothing in the walls and retreated. I cheekily told them they owed me $20 to fix the hole. Upon waking, I thought that it meant I was not hiding any of my gifts. But as I journeyed, I thought it perhaps it meant that I had none to hide. Then I realized it was not about the gifts themselves, but the hiding part. What of worth am I hiding? Nothing. And destruction of my home must be compensated for. Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
During my morning meditation, I received a call to journey. I had no intention except to find out for what I was being called. I was immediately drawn to Upper World. Upper World: I entered and Teacher (Bell'anna) emerged from a stone in the walkway to the Hall of Knowledge. She took me into the main library, which had been redecorated into more of a rustic atmosphere, with wooden furniture and a small fire pit at the center. I sat there and she told me Grandmother would be joining us. Teacher brought down a large red book and handed it to me. These are the stories of your female ancestors, Teacher said. Grandmother had appeared now and was tending the fire as I looked through the book. I saw my mother, her mother, her mother, and so on. I saw men as well, being abusive to the women, physically, sexually, and emotionally. finally landed on an image of a smiling, upturned face of a woman who could have been in her 20s as easily as her 50s. Youthful and joyful. Your have entered the croning time. You have no daughters. This is your time to end the cycle of violence. Draw your power to you. The pain ends with you. Teacher handed me a staff that had a bird on top of it—a hawk?—which flew away, leaving the feathers behind attached to the top of the staff. The top was encrusted with gemstones (mainly moonstone) and had a smooth space where the hand would go. The base was orange and red with fire colors and from it came vines that snaked up the staff in various shades of green. This is your crone staff, Nashawe. You will recreate it in Ordinary Reality. She threw it on the fire, where Grandmother poked at it. The staff dissolved into sparks of fire. It will be here for you when you are in Non-ordinary Reality, Teacher told me. Then, Grandmother gave me a capsule, which I swallowed. This is moss beneath the Tree of Knowledge outside of my home, Grandmother said. Let it fill you with ancestral knowledge and belief in your own experience. You are no longer a child. You are stepping into elder. You will come to us for more training, but it is time for you to embrace your own knowledge and share it. I sat for a moment with my teachers and watched the fire. Callback sounded. I thanked them both deeply and returned. Drum Journey (Recorded drumming): ~15 minutes
Note: I have had a debilitating pain in my right hip for about three months now. It thought it was due to an ongoing Piriformis issue I've had, but this seems to be getting worse, causing considerable problems with mobility and daily comfort. I have had chiropractic, massage therapy, yoga/stretching, medication and meditation, but nothing seems to work. I realize that it is emotional in part, and also perhaps something to do with perimenopause. I wanted to discover what else might be at work. Upper World Immediately went to Grandmother's house. As I traveled, I could see flashes of her preparing the space for me. When I arrived, there was a cot for me to lie on and a poultice of some sort that she was preparing. When I lay down, she placed her hands on my ailing hip and a flood of maternal warmth moved through me and made me cry. She placed the poultice of damp leaves on me. I asked what they were. She told me they were fennel and another herb I didn't recognize ("Amanthia"? "Omathia"?). I cannot remember it now very clearly. Grandmother told me that I was full of blood and needed to bleed. The muscles around my uterus are trying to hold on to me, hold onto youth and not release toward older age. My mind may have accepted my age, but my body has not. Ironically, by bleeding—a "youthful" thing to do—I will release the tension in my pelvic region. Grandmother told me there was a lot of mother line trauma and sent my uterus flying out the room, on wings, collecting the stories of my female ancestors in my mother's lineage. I saw a lot of male oppression and violence toward women, but I also felt self-conscious that I was simply making all this up. I told this to Grandmother, who was now applying the poultice on my injured muscles, inside my body. "Maybe one day I will be worthy of you," I told her. She continued to work on me. Eventually, the uterus came back. She squeezed the blood and story residue out of it and replaced it in my body. She covered it with her warm hands and sent healing there. Also, she wrapped a sheet of hot light around my hips and pressed them in place. I lay there for a while allowing the heat to seep in and heal me. At this time, the Callback sounded. I thanked Grandmother and returned to OR. Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
Lower World The purpose of this journey was to receive a drumming teaching, but also to request guidance about the shamanic journeying workshop I am leading in two days. I went to the Sacred Fire Circle, where all the CHSes were gathered. I asked for any advice about what I should include in the workshop. Grandmother stood and said: Ancestors. It is important for those who journey to know that the ancestors are there. There are the ancestors of blood lineage and there are spirit ancestors of life incarnations. Bell'anna stood and opened her robe to reveal the universe. She said: Connection and communication. We are all connected to the universe. We communicate with all that is within it, was within it, and all that ever will be. Journey with this knowledge and purpose. Reeds Blowing stood and said: Nature. Plant life speaks to us constantly. Animals as well. Journey to hear what plants and animals want to share with us. Rekindle the communication with them. Return home to them in the journeys you make. I turned to Great Walker for his teaching on the drum. Suddenly, I was transported to a large field where I was drumming and dancing energetically, wearing a white scarf. This scarf represented both Reeds Blowing's white deerskin cape and Great Walker's white beads. I felt the message that I would wear the white scarf (or have it nearby) when I give the workshop to keep these teachers with me. As I danced and drummed, I head Great Walker tell me that I should consider the other not as the other. This means, hold the person for whom you are drumming as part of yourself, part of the great web of life. The healing drum energy moves out into the atmosphere and knows where to land. It does not know the object-beings as separate. They are connected. Therefore, when drumming, consider the other not as the other but as one of everything, including the drum, the drummer, and the beat. Callback I thanked the CHSes and returned. Return to Ordinary Reality |
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