Drum Journey (Recording): ~30 minutes
During my morning meditation, I again received a call to journey. As it was with my last journey, I had no intention. I was called to Lower World. Lower World: It was dusk. A pink, purple, and yellow sunset illuminated the mountains ahead of me. Hummingbird came to greet me. It had been some time since I journeyed, and I was ashamed. I said something of the sort to Hummingbird, but even as the words left my lips, I could see that they were irrelevant. Hummingbird flew off eastward, and I followed. On the path, I stopped to lean against a tree as I was very overcome and tired. I thought I needed to set an intention, so I tried to. My OR shamanic teacher, Elaine, told me I should ask about a recent dream I had.* My mind went into the dream again and replayed the confusing part. Hummingbird said, You already know the meaning of the dream. I was transported quickly to a field where there was a sacred fire with a ring of small fires around it. Reeds Blowing sat at the edge of it, sprinkling powdered herbs into the fire. I wondered what he was doing here, since I usually meet him in Upper World unless there is a gathering at the council fire. I knew not to ask, though. Grandmother, too, was there, tearing up pieces of red organ meat and throwing them on the fire. Great Walker drummed in the background. I noticed then that I had a blue plaster stuck to my lower abdomen. I asked what it was. Reeds Blowing said it was made of Blue Poppy, Camphor, Mustard, and other herbs. I asked Grandmother what she was putting on the fire. Your uterus, she said. I was shocked. "Does that mean I don't have a uterus anymore?" Of course not, this is a symbol. This is your old uterus. It is diseased, carrying the pain of your ancestors. You will receive a new one. Grandmother began singing and walking around the fire. She gestured violently toward the fire, as if casting out dark energy. The flames rose with each gesturing. Grandmother took a burning stick from the fire and placed it on my abdomen. I was moving quickly without volition: lying down, sitting up, standing... She placed her hands on my lower back and abdomen as she sang. She led me around the fire, singing. Great Walker tossed me my drum, and I drummed along and sang with her. Soon, I felt pressure in my abdomen. The plaster was removed. I crouched on the grass and passed the uterus out of my body. It was not painful, but it was difficult work. Grandmother took it and threw it on the fire. Immediately, smoke-like beings rose from the fire and into the atmosphere. I recognized them as my ancestors—women and men. They clouded the sky. She and Reeds Blowing began to chant together. Reeds Blowing took a staff and stirred in the air. This whipped the smokey spirit beings around like cotton candy on his staff. He then hurled them into space. I could see or sense them all settling into the lost soul places where they belonged if they had allowed themselves to return Home and be redistributed as Nature intended. Grandmother crafted a small clay vessel within the fire. She blew into its opening spirit energy and placed various herbs within it. This, she placed over my abdomen, where it sunk in, assuming the place of my old uterus. I was very tired. I found myself mentally drifting, then "awoke" to find myself lying in a room on a bed, recovering. Everything felt very slow. I heard Grandmother's voice tell me that I needed to rest now. Callback sounded. I thanked, Hummingbird, Reeds Blowing, Grandmother, and Great Walker then returned. ________________________ *Friends of my estranged husband banged a hole in my wall, claiming that I was hiding gold in there. I assured them I was not. They found nothing in the walls and retreated. I cheekily told them they owed me $20 to fix the hole. Upon waking, I thought that it meant I was not hiding any of my gifts. But as I journeyed, I thought it perhaps it meant that I had none to hide. Then I realized it was not about the gifts themselves, but the hiding part. What of worth am I hiding? Nothing. And destruction of my home must be compensated for.
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Drum Journey (Recorded drumming): ~15 minutes
Lower World I am currently in Day 48 of my 50-day initiation. This journey had a specific purpose, which was to consult my compassionate helping spirits who have assisted me on this initiation/internal retreat regarding my upcoming weekend away with my husband Khader. Specifically, I wished to address the restriction of alcohol consumption. This is our only solitary weekend holiday for the year. We are both celebrating graduation from our respective Masters programs. Having a relaxing weekend with no restrictions, would be rejuvenating and, in my view, necessary. (We'd like to have a champagne toast to celebrate, for example.) I visited the CHSes who were all gathered at the Sacred Fire Circle. Fire was burning high as I presented my case. I was concerned that my situation would seem petty. To some extent, even I felt it was; alcohol consumption over the weekend had not occurred to me until today. When I originally told him, Khader was disappointed but understood. I felt bad about disappointing him, but thought it was better to stay true to my practice. Later, I thought that making this adjustment may be a kind gesture for Khader and make our time together feel more connected. In this case, I began to see alcohol as part of the ritual celebration, not a way to escape. I knew that what I was really asking for was a stay of the 50-day agreement or some additional task I could perform to compensate. I received this guidance:
Then, Great Walker began to dance with his drum. I was told to join him. I had to make sure I had space to dance and drum. Lots of it! There were great leaps and swirls around. I felt lost in the drumming and in the feeling of movement. The rest of the journey continued this way until callback. Callback I thanked all the CHSes and returned. Return to Ordinary Reality. Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
Upper World Note: I had a difficult time beginning the journey because I was thinking about the workshop I led the day before: Introduction to Shamanic Journeying. There were five women, all of whom were new to shamanism. After a few minutes, I was able to make it to Upper World. From the moment I arrived, I felt an urgency to see Reeds Blowing. I ran all the way to his tree cave, leaving an offering of wildflower heads surrounding the triangular Taos stone I had brought to the workshop the day before (to use as a "talking stone"). I was distraught, concerned that I had not done the workshop well by spirit standards (!). I felt I had not been able to answer well the challenging questions and comments I got from one workshop attendee: Why power animals? Is there danger in the spirit world? The drum callback sounds threatening to me... Reed Blowing took the stone and blessed it. He smiled and said that I had answered fine; I explained (there is no real danger, only what you may not yet be ready to see) gave examples (I was bitten by a snake on my first journey. Later it was explained this may have been an early dismemberment.), I told her what she needed to know (According to the teachings, there was a time when animals and humans spoke the same language. Journeying is our way to reestablish our connection.). Next time, I could say that "these are the teachings" and leave it at that. As for the threatening callback (which I did not address), I could say that it is a matter of perception. Come, he said, it is time for your drumming lesson. We walked behind his tree and into a clearing at the base of a mountain. There was a large pow-wow drum on the ground. Great Walker stood at one edge. Reeds Blowing stood near him at the drum. I stood opposite Reeds Blowing. We began drumming in unison. Soon, Bell'anna joined us. The sound of the drum was incredible. The vibrations shook the land and air around us. The vibrations turned deep pink and rose in a column to the atmosphere. It surrounded Upper World and encased it in a circle of sound. The vibrations shook us and all around us.I envisioned the cells in my body all moving and re-energizing. The field enveloping UW released and the column went back into the drum, then moved out forcefully into each of the drummers. Once the drumming stopped, I sat on the ground. Great Walker handed me my drum, and told me to drum now. As I did, I saw the vision of the buffalo whose hide covers my drum. He was majestic and black-furred. I saw his watery eyes. He grazed and ambled through the field. I was amazed by his beauty. I then saw his death and the process of his skinning—blood and sinew. I tried to imagine the shift from living to dead, from spirit inhabiting the body to the skin on the wooden worktable, drying. I saw Lee Lujan receiving the skin. Working it. Making this drum. I saw the Cottonwood tree. I moved through its seasons. Buds and leaves and decay and buds again. I saw bugs and birds making homes in it. I saw its bark forming and shedding over the years. I saw it being cut down... Callback I thanked my teachers and returned. Return to Ordinary Reality. Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
Lower World The purpose of this journey was to receive a drumming teaching, but also to request guidance about the shamanic journeying workshop I am leading in two days. I went to the Sacred Fire Circle, where all the CHSes were gathered. I asked for any advice about what I should include in the workshop. Grandmother stood and said: Ancestors. It is important for those who journey to know that the ancestors are there. There are the ancestors of blood lineage and there are spirit ancestors of life incarnations. Bell'anna stood and opened her robe to reveal the universe. She said: Connection and communication. We are all connected to the universe. We communicate with all that is within it, was within it, and all that ever will be. Journey with this knowledge and purpose. Reeds Blowing stood and said: Nature. Plant life speaks to us constantly. Animals as well. Journey to hear what plants and animals want to share with us. Rekindle the communication with them. Return home to them in the journeys you make. I turned to Great Walker for his teaching on the drum. Suddenly, I was transported to a large field where I was drumming and dancing energetically, wearing a white scarf. This scarf represented both Reeds Blowing's white deerskin cape and Great Walker's white beads. I felt the message that I would wear the white scarf (or have it nearby) when I give the workshop to keep these teachers with me. As I danced and drummed, I head Great Walker tell me that I should consider the other not as the other. This means, hold the person for whom you are drumming as part of yourself, part of the great web of life. The healing drum energy moves out into the atmosphere and knows where to land. It does not know the object-beings as separate. They are connected. Therefore, when drumming, consider the other not as the other but as one of everything, including the drum, the drummer, and the beat. Callback I thanked the CHSes and returned. Return to Ordinary Reality Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
Upper World I was called to the Hall of Knowledge. When I entered the library, the ornate room full of books, tables, and reading chairs changed into an Algonquin longhouse. At one end, I saw Great Walker making a drum. This will be your final project after the initiation. You will make your own drum. I asked what it should be made of. Deer, likely. There are many where you live and you are connected to them. They can carry you on your journeys. "What kind of wood?" I asked. Maple, cedar... That is not as important as every tree is connected to you and you to it. I asked what my lesson was for this visit. Great Walker moved a long table that was in the center of the longhouse. Underneath it was a long pit for fires. He lit it and told me that today I would learn the foot movements for drumming. When moving around a circle, the steps are:
When standing still, the steps are:
Next, Great Walker told me that the beads for the necklace will come. I am to make a necklace that will be worn during ceremonies. The beads must be white and made of either stone, clay, or deer bone. Finally, Great Walker told me that I was invited to merge with him when drumming for others' journeys if I wish. It may be helpful especially at the beginning. I could call him before the merge by playing the heartbeat rhythm on the drum. I asked if I could merge with him now so that I could feel what it was like. He agreed. When I merged, I immediately felt power in my muscles. As we drummed, I felt a clear connection between the drum and my/his/our heart. The heart seemed to resonate with each beat, triangulating the drummer, the drum and the heart. I also felt Great Walker's old-body, like scars of a human form that were distant and infused with spirit energy. We drummed together for some time. Callback I disengaged and thanked Great Walker before returning. Return to Ordinary Reality |
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