Drum Journey (Recording): ~30 minutes
Journey to ask for guidance about a ritual I am planning in order to take my life and career to the next level. I traveled to Lower World. Hummingbird met me and took me to the sacred fire, where all the compassionate helping spirits were assembled. I noticed that as I stood before them, my usual muslin outfit changed into a white leather costume (same as Reeds Blowing's cape) with fringe around the edges. I played drum and sang my soul song. When this was done, I addressed the group and asked for assistance. I was told that I should create a ritual around Laxmi and Ganesha, since those are the spirits that connect with you (meaning: India). I'm uncertain which CHS said this. It may have been Grandmother. Also, I would leave the circle to find a power animal that will assist me in advancing my career. I will still work with Mother Brown Bear, who is related to my career. The additional CHS would assist with advancement and obstacle removal. Reeds Blowing came forward and placed his hands on either side of my head. Black tendrils released from my temples. I left the circle with Hummingbird to find my power animal. Immediately, a large, black ant crossed my path. I kept looking, and the land was pretty well devoid of animals at all. No birds, nothing. I saw the glassy eye of the black ant. "Oh. no!" I thought. "Is an ant even a power animal?" I was ashamed of my judgement. I kept looking around. Hummingbird even brought me to the arctic, where I saw a polar bear. But there again on the ice was a black ant. We returned to the mesa, where I saw a huge gathering of ants, scurrying around their hill, moving objects and being very busy. That was four views. I approached an ant and asked, "Are you my power animal?" Yes, Ant responded. I am here to remind you of the strength in small things. We have no distractions. We are primed to move forward and accomplish tasks. When something is in our way, we remove it. No thought. Just action. We are strong. I will be with you to remove obstacles. To remind you of your strength in small stature. I asked if I could merge with Ant. Ant said yes. I became small and stepped into Ant. I felt a surge of energy—light and fast. We joined the other ants and entered the hill. There, I saw the paths and then spaces where larvae were. Also food stores. I was swept up in the speed of the movement. Soon, I disengaged and we returned with Hummingbird and Ant to the sacred fire. I presented Ant to the group. Mother Brown Bear joined us. We were blessed in our presence there. I asked again for any assistance for my ritual. Just after the new moon (waxing), perform the ritual. Hosts will be Laxmi and Ganesha. Bring ancestors in. Heal past trauma and release obstacles. Ant and Ganesha will assist. Offerings and intention. The callback sounded. I thanked everyone and returned.
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Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
Journey to ask for guidance for the (Jewish) new year and the new season of Autumn, which officially began while I was in the journey. Upper World. I wandered along the path to Reeds Blowing's cave. I saw him in various places, in ghost-like form as though he had been there at different times but was not there now. Once I got to the cave, I placed my offering of wildflowers outside. I saw his white cape on the ground at the entrance to the cave. This seemed strange to me. I felt that I should not enter the cave without his invitation, but I also felt that if I was afraid, I should do it. I stepped a few feet into the cave and sat down. I realized that I was traveling without the aid of a CHS. Suddenly, Hummingbird appeared form inside the cave, but he was also ghost-like and had strange colors. he looked like he had died and was reanimated. This was a frightening image, so I left the cave. As I walked along the banks of the creek by RB's cave, I saw that everything was dead or dying. I was overcome with grief. RB appeared right in front of me, so close that I could only see his chest. I was immediately merged with him and felt his power as we walked along the path. He/I felt much taller—almost like a giant. As we walked I asked him my question about how to honor the new year/new season. He spoke about the death of things: There will be death. The cycles of nature. I have to accept the shift as it unfolds. This is true of everything around me as well as inside of me. I asked what I could do to make the most of this new time. Write, he said. It is time to return to writing. I felt frightened as I have lost my faith in my writing skills over the years. I have felt a terrible block or as though my self as a writer has died. I asked RB if he could remove my writer's block. He began pulling long, dark, tangled strings from the top of my head. They looked like thick, black spiderweb strings. This went on for some time. He then replaced the strings with golden thread. Wherever the strings were before, that space was now golden. I was not convinced that this would help because I was still in the fear place about having to try writing again. Real fear! The callback sounded. I thanked RB and returned. Drum Journey (Recording): ~30 minutes
During my morning meditation, I again received a call to journey. As it was with my last journey, I had no intention. I was called to Lower World. Lower World: It was dusk. A pink, purple, and yellow sunset illuminated the mountains ahead of me. Hummingbird came to greet me. It had been some time since I journeyed, and I was ashamed. I said something of the sort to Hummingbird, but even as the words left my lips, I could see that they were irrelevant. Hummingbird flew off eastward, and I followed. On the path, I stopped to lean against a tree as I was very overcome and tired. I thought I needed to set an intention, so I tried to. My OR shamanic teacher, Elaine, told me I should ask about a recent dream I had.* My mind went into the dream again and replayed the confusing part. Hummingbird said, You already know the meaning of the dream. I was transported quickly to a field where there was a sacred fire with a ring of small fires around it. Reeds Blowing sat at the edge of it, sprinkling powdered herbs into the fire. I wondered what he was doing here, since I usually meet him in Upper World unless there is a gathering at the council fire. I knew not to ask, though. Grandmother, too, was there, tearing up pieces of red organ meat and throwing them on the fire. Great Walker drummed in the background. I noticed then that I had a blue plaster stuck to my lower abdomen. I asked what it was. Reeds Blowing said it was made of Blue Poppy, Camphor, Mustard, and other herbs. I asked Grandmother what she was putting on the fire. Your uterus, she said. I was shocked. "Does that mean I don't have a uterus anymore?" Of course not, this is a symbol. This is your old uterus. It is diseased, carrying the pain of your ancestors. You will receive a new one. Grandmother began singing and walking around the fire. She gestured violently toward the fire, as if casting out dark energy. The flames rose with each gesturing. Grandmother took a burning stick from the fire and placed it on my abdomen. I was moving quickly without volition: lying down, sitting up, standing... She placed her hands on my lower back and abdomen as she sang. She led me around the fire, singing. Great Walker tossed me my drum, and I drummed along and sang with her. Soon, I felt pressure in my abdomen. The plaster was removed. I crouched on the grass and passed the uterus out of my body. It was not painful, but it was difficult work. Grandmother took it and threw it on the fire. Immediately, smoke-like beings rose from the fire and into the atmosphere. I recognized them as my ancestors—women and men. They clouded the sky. She and Reeds Blowing began to chant together. Reeds Blowing took a staff and stirred in the air. This whipped the smokey spirit beings around like cotton candy on his staff. He then hurled them into space. I could see or sense them all settling into the lost soul places where they belonged if they had allowed themselves to return Home and be redistributed as Nature intended. Grandmother crafted a small clay vessel within the fire. She blew into its opening spirit energy and placed various herbs within it. This, she placed over my abdomen, where it sunk in, assuming the place of my old uterus. I was very tired. I found myself mentally drifting, then "awoke" to find myself lying in a room on a bed, recovering. Everything felt very slow. I heard Grandmother's voice tell me that I needed to rest now. Callback sounded. I thanked, Hummingbird, Reeds Blowing, Grandmother, and Great Walker then returned. ________________________ *Friends of my estranged husband banged a hole in my wall, claiming that I was hiding gold in there. I assured them I was not. They found nothing in the walls and retreated. I cheekily told them they owed me $20 to fix the hole. Upon waking, I thought that it meant I was not hiding any of my gifts. But as I journeyed, I thought it perhaps it meant that I had none to hide. Then I realized it was not about the gifts themselves, but the hiding part. What of worth am I hiding? Nothing. And destruction of my home must be compensated for. Drum Journey (Self-drumming): ~10 minutes
I went to Lower World to meet with all my helping spirits at the Sacred Fire. I had received the notice that I passed the MFT exam four days earlier and wanted to give thanks. I greeted all the helping spirits and gave them an offering of fruits, vegetables, and wildflowers. Reeds Blowing came and offered congratulations to me from all. He told me, You are now Nashawe. He fashioned a heart out of bird feathers as well as animal fur, skin, and sinew. He replaced my heart with this one. He then wrapped a long cape over me, made with woven flowers. Here, you will now be known as Nashawe, place where two rivers meet. You connect the spirit world with the world of man. I asked if it was all right to use the name in ordinary reality. Reeds Blowing said I could use it with respect and not exploit it or its reverence. I gave thanks to every helping spirit. Reeds Blowing told me to return for an official initiation later, which I agreed to do. Callback and return to OR Drum Journey (Recorded drumming): ~15 minutes
My intention was to discover what was at the source of my leg pain and emotional pain. Was there some traumatic event from my past that I have been blocking and it is now manifesting in physical pain? I was called to Upper World. This time when I arrived, it was not at the usual location. Typically I travel up and up, then am guided to the right, where the entrance to UW is. This time, I traveled straight up until I saw the pink membrane separating worlds. I passed through it, and found myself at the edge of the White Forest. I walked along the squishy pink membrane until I reached the forest. Hummingbird arrived to guide me. I asked if we were going to see Reeds Blowing, and Hummingbird said we were. I was happy because I haven't visited him in some time. I began, with Hummingbird's help, to gather my usual offering of wildflowers. Hummingbird brought me a branch of berries. I found a purple lupine and some yellow flowers as well. Suddenly, I became aware of a heavy pressure in my center. My torso was dark and lead-like. I was unable to move much farther. I lay down on the forest floor and told Hummingbird I could not walk anymore. Presently, the ground swallowed me up and I lay a couple of feet or so beneath the surface. I felt the cold of the soil and smelled its richness. I could breathe, but I could not move my hands or legs. It was not unpleasant, although I wondered what was happening. Just then, my insides sprouted. The black, lead-like presence was a seed that was germinating out of my body. Very quickly, the sprout became a large black tree with rainbow-colored leaves. I rolled out from under the tree and came to the surface where I lay and looked up at the tree. My center was hollow, but my body was sealed up. as I looked at the tree, I saw that a good number of the leaves were becoming black. Hummingbird told me that this tree was directly connected to me and my life. The leaves were dying and it was my job to bring them back to their colorful state. "How do I do that?" I asked. You can't. Once they are dead, they are dead, he said. This task seemed impossible and I became sad. At this time, Reeds Blowing appeared behind me. We regarded the tree together. I explained what I had been told and lamented that I could not do what was asked of me. I had no idea how. Reeds Blowing reminded me that leaves drop with the season. Perhaps all these leaves will die, but there will be buds in the spring. Where will you be in March? We merged so that I could feel vitality again and also so that we could travel quickly back to his tree cave at the swamp. Once there, he made a tea of local plants that he brewed over a fire in the cave. The tea was going to replace the insides of me that had been lost. As I drank it, I asked if he could help me discover what happened to me, if anything, that may be causing my pain. He lay me down and moved his hands across me. There has been a lot of healing already, he said. There is a resilience here. He indicated my stomach area. I could tell that did not mean that I was healed or that nothing happened, but that I had protected myself for a long time. Those reinforcements were apparent. At this time, the Callback sounded. Reeds Blowing said that we would continue the work another time. I thanked him and returned, thanking the Black Tree on my way past. Thanks to Hummingbird, as well! Returned to OR |
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