Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
When I arrived, I headed to the Hall of Knowledge and retrieved my drum from the nook in the wall. I walked behind the Hall, not sure where I was supposed to be going, and no one was there to assist me.
As I walked farther, the ground began to give out underneath me and I slid down into a ravine. At the bottom, there was a fire and what looked to be a circle of people. When I landed from the fall, I could see it was Spirit of the Drum alone. He was still wearing the white beaded headdress and breastplate. He was drumming and offered me to receive the healing he was giving.
He raised his drum and beat it to the sky, then told me to see the rhythm of the drum. I saw spirit scooped up in the bowl of the drum, then sent to my body. I was outside the image, looking at it. Spirit of the Drum told me to receive the healing myself. In other words, step in.
It took me two tries but I was able to step in and stay present to receive the healing drum energy. This did not feel exactly like the Tuvan drum healing I had learned and seen, because I was seeing the energy where I had not before (I had only felt it). I also felt the drum energy blast through my chest, which was very blocked with grief.
After a few healing rounds, we sat at the fire and I asked Spirit of the Drum for my next lesson. But first, I asked if he had a name I could call him by. He gave me a difficult name that made no sense. We both laughed.
You could call me Healer, he said. I told him that I might as well call him shaman. He nodded and smiled.
In my tribe, I am called Great Walker. You can call me that. You are in the same tribe, after all. You were once a great walker yourself. And I am your spiritual ancestor.
And this grief you carry. This trying to be of the world you are in. There is no need for it. You do not have to fit there. If you try, you will always fail because you are not of that world. Your healer friend* in Ordinary Reality was right: You have always been an orphan. Your Ordinary Reality world is not your real family. You are of the spirit world, just visiting Ordinary Reality. We all do!
That is why there is no need even to fear death. That fear is also taught to you by Ordinary Reality thinking. There is suffering in that thinking. There is suffering in your trying to fit. You already have connection. You can be in both worlds. You know this, which is why your tears reach you now even in Ordinary Reality.
I told Great Walker that I felt I was losing my connection in the journey. He said I was supposed to; that is the lesson: Being fluid between the worlds.
We spent the rest of the time drumming together.
I thanked Great Walker, I thanked and returned my drum to its place, then returned.
Return to Ordinary Reality