Drum Journey (Recorded drumming): ~15 minutes
Note: I have had a debilitating pain in my right hip for about three months now. It thought it was due to an ongoing Piriformis issue I've had, but this seems to be getting worse, causing considerable problems with mobility and daily comfort. I have had chiropractic, massage therapy, yoga/stretching, medication and meditation, but nothing seems to work. I realize that it is emotional in part, and also perhaps something to do with perimenopause. I wanted to discover what else might be at work.
Immediately went to Grandmother's house. As I traveled, I could see flashes of her preparing the space for me. When I arrived, there was a cot for me to lie on and a poultice of some sort that she was preparing. When I lay down, she placed her hands on my ailing hip and a flood of maternal warmth moved through me and made me cry.
She placed the poultice of damp leaves on me. I asked what they were. She told me they were fennel and another herb I didn't recognize ("Amanthia"? "Omathia"?). I cannot remember it now very clearly.
Grandmother told me that I was full of blood and needed to bleed. The muscles around my uterus are trying to hold on to me, hold onto youth and not release toward older age. My mind may have accepted my age, but my body has not. Ironically, by bleeding—a "youthful" thing to do—I will release the tension in my pelvic region.
Grandmother told me there was a lot of mother line trauma and sent my uterus flying out the room, on wings, collecting the stories of my female ancestors in my mother's lineage. I saw a lot of male oppression and violence toward women, but I also felt self-conscious that I was simply making all this up. I told this to Grandmother, who was now applying the poultice on my injured muscles, inside my body. "Maybe one day I will be worthy of you," I told her.
She continued to work on me. Eventually, the uterus came back. She squeezed the blood and story residue out of it and replaced it in my body. She covered it with her warm hands and sent healing there. Also, she wrapped a sheet of hot light around my hips and pressed them in place. I lay there for a while allowing the heat to seep in and heal me.
At this time, the Callback sounded. I thanked Grandmother and returned to OR.