Drum Journey (Recording): ~30 minutes
During my morning meditation, I again received a call to journey. As it was with my last journey, I had no intention. I was called to Lower World. Lower World: It was dusk. A pink, purple, and yellow sunset illuminated the mountains ahead of me. Hummingbird came to greet me. It had been some time since I journeyed, and I was ashamed. I said something of the sort to Hummingbird, but even as the words left my lips, I could see that they were irrelevant. Hummingbird flew off eastward, and I followed. On the path, I stopped to lean against a tree as I was very overcome and tired. I thought I needed to set an intention, so I tried to. My OR shamanic teacher, Elaine, told me I should ask about a recent dream I had.* My mind went into the dream again and replayed the confusing part. Hummingbird said, You already know the meaning of the dream. I was transported quickly to a field where there was a sacred fire with a ring of small fires around it. Reeds Blowing sat at the edge of it, sprinkling powdered herbs into the fire. I wondered what he was doing here, since I usually meet him in Upper World unless there is a gathering at the council fire. I knew not to ask, though. Grandmother, too, was there, tearing up pieces of red organ meat and throwing them on the fire. Great Walker drummed in the background. I noticed then that I had a blue plaster stuck to my lower abdomen. I asked what it was. Reeds Blowing said it was made of Blue Poppy, Camphor, Mustard, and other herbs. I asked Grandmother what she was putting on the fire. Your uterus, she said. I was shocked. "Does that mean I don't have a uterus anymore?" Of course not, this is a symbol. This is your old uterus. It is diseased, carrying the pain of your ancestors. You will receive a new one. Grandmother began singing and walking around the fire. She gestured violently toward the fire, as if casting out dark energy. The flames rose with each gesturing. Grandmother took a burning stick from the fire and placed it on my abdomen. I was moving quickly without volition: lying down, sitting up, standing... She placed her hands on my lower back and abdomen as she sang. She led me around the fire, singing. Great Walker tossed me my drum, and I drummed along and sang with her. Soon, I felt pressure in my abdomen. The plaster was removed. I crouched on the grass and passed the uterus out of my body. It was not painful, but it was difficult work. Grandmother took it and threw it on the fire. Immediately, smoke-like beings rose from the fire and into the atmosphere. I recognized them as my ancestors—women and men. They clouded the sky. She and Reeds Blowing began to chant together. Reeds Blowing took a staff and stirred in the air. This whipped the smokey spirit beings around like cotton candy on his staff. He then hurled them into space. I could see or sense them all settling into the lost soul places where they belonged if they had allowed themselves to return Home and be redistributed as Nature intended. Grandmother crafted a small clay vessel within the fire. She blew into its opening spirit energy and placed various herbs within it. This, she placed over my abdomen, where it sunk in, assuming the place of my old uterus. I was very tired. I found myself mentally drifting, then "awoke" to find myself lying in a room on a bed, recovering. Everything felt very slow. I heard Grandmother's voice tell me that I needed to rest now. Callback sounded. I thanked, Hummingbird, Reeds Blowing, Grandmother, and Great Walker then returned. ________________________ *Friends of my estranged husband banged a hole in my wall, claiming that I was hiding gold in there. I assured them I was not. They found nothing in the walls and retreated. I cheekily told them they owed me $20 to fix the hole. Upon waking, I thought that it meant I was not hiding any of my gifts. But as I journeyed, I thought it perhaps it meant that I had none to hide. Then I realized it was not about the gifts themselves, but the hiding part. What of worth am I hiding? Nothing. And destruction of my home must be compensated for.
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Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
During my morning meditation, I received a call to journey. I had no intention except to find out for what I was being called. I was immediately drawn to Upper World. Upper World: I entered and Teacher (Bell'anna) emerged from a stone in the walkway to the Hall of Knowledge. She took me into the main library, which had been redecorated into more of a rustic atmosphere, with wooden furniture and a small fire pit at the center. I sat there and she told me Grandmother would be joining us. Teacher brought down a large red book and handed it to me. These are the stories of your female ancestors, Teacher said. Grandmother had appeared now and was tending the fire as I looked through the book. I saw my mother, her mother, her mother, and so on. I saw men as well, being abusive to the women, physically, sexually, and emotionally. finally landed on an image of a smiling, upturned face of a woman who could have been in her 20s as easily as her 50s. Youthful and joyful. Your have entered the croning time. You have no daughters. This is your time to end the cycle of violence. Draw your power to you. The pain ends with you. Teacher handed me a staff that had a bird on top of it—a hawk?—which flew away, leaving the feathers behind attached to the top of the staff. The top was encrusted with gemstones (mainly moonstone) and had a smooth space where the hand would go. The base was orange and red with fire colors and from it came vines that snaked up the staff in various shades of green. This is your crone staff, Nashawe. You will recreate it in Ordinary Reality. She threw it on the fire, where Grandmother poked at it. The staff dissolved into sparks of fire. It will be here for you when you are in Non-ordinary Reality, Teacher told me. Then, Grandmother gave me a capsule, which I swallowed. This is moss beneath the Tree of Knowledge outside of my home, Grandmother said. Let it fill you with ancestral knowledge and belief in your own experience. You are no longer a child. You are stepping into elder. You will come to us for more training, but it is time for you to embrace your own knowledge and share it. I sat for a moment with my teachers and watched the fire. Callback sounded. I thanked them both deeply and returned. Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
Note: This journey took place on 1/11/2019 I went to Lower World to meet again with all my helping spirits at the Sacred Fire. To my surprise, we all lifted in the air and flew north across LW to a large field. The helping spirits all circled around me and the Sacred Fire also appeared in the center of the circle. Reeds Blowing came forward and announced that From now forward you will be known as Nashawe in this place. This will be your name. This is who you are. He handed me a long staff that had blue fabric wrapped around it, and glistening stones embedded in it. There were also owl feathers (donated from Owl) hanging from the top. I was given a flower crown and a waist wrap that kept changing colors.* Then, each one of the helping spirits came and greeted me as Nashawe, some with a gift and some with a hug or a small bow. It was a brief but very satisfying journey. I felt connected and peaceful when the callback came. I thanked all the helping spirits and returned to OR. *I had just taken psilocybin, so that might have influenced it, but I believe it was too early in the trip to have had this visualization. I rather think that my traveling mind was indecisive. :) Drum Journey (Self-drumming): ~10 minutes
I went to Lower World to meet with all my helping spirits at the Sacred Fire. I had received the notice that I passed the MFT exam four days earlier and wanted to give thanks. I greeted all the helping spirits and gave them an offering of fruits, vegetables, and wildflowers. Reeds Blowing came and offered congratulations to me from all. He told me, You are now Nashawe. He fashioned a heart out of bird feathers as well as animal fur, skin, and sinew. He replaced my heart with this one. He then wrapped a long cape over me, made with woven flowers. Here, you will now be known as Nashawe, place where two rivers meet. You connect the spirit world with the world of man. I asked if it was all right to use the name in ordinary reality. Reeds Blowing said I could use it with respect and not exploit it or its reverence. I gave thanks to every helping spirit. Reeds Blowing told me to return for an official initiation later, which I agreed to do. Callback and return to OR Drum Journey (Recorded drumming): ~15 minutes
My intention was to discover what was at the source of my leg pain and emotional pain. Was there some traumatic event from my past that I have been blocking and it is now manifesting in physical pain? I was called to Upper World. This time when I arrived, it was not at the usual location. Typically I travel up and up, then am guided to the right, where the entrance to UW is. This time, I traveled straight up until I saw the pink membrane separating worlds. I passed through it, and found myself at the edge of the White Forest. I walked along the squishy pink membrane until I reached the forest. Hummingbird arrived to guide me. I asked if we were going to see Reeds Blowing, and Hummingbird said we were. I was happy because I haven't visited him in some time. I began, with Hummingbird's help, to gather my usual offering of wildflowers. Hummingbird brought me a branch of berries. I found a purple lupine and some yellow flowers as well. Suddenly, I became aware of a heavy pressure in my center. My torso was dark and lead-like. I was unable to move much farther. I lay down on the forest floor and told Hummingbird I could not walk anymore. Presently, the ground swallowed me up and I lay a couple of feet or so beneath the surface. I felt the cold of the soil and smelled its richness. I could breathe, but I could not move my hands or legs. It was not unpleasant, although I wondered what was happening. Just then, my insides sprouted. The black, lead-like presence was a seed that was germinating out of my body. Very quickly, the sprout became a large black tree with rainbow-colored leaves. I rolled out from under the tree and came to the surface where I lay and looked up at the tree. My center was hollow, but my body was sealed up. as I looked at the tree, I saw that a good number of the leaves were becoming black. Hummingbird told me that this tree was directly connected to me and my life. The leaves were dying and it was my job to bring them back to their colorful state. "How do I do that?" I asked. You can't. Once they are dead, they are dead, he said. This task seemed impossible and I became sad. At this time, Reeds Blowing appeared behind me. We regarded the tree together. I explained what I had been told and lamented that I could not do what was asked of me. I had no idea how. Reeds Blowing reminded me that leaves drop with the season. Perhaps all these leaves will die, but there will be buds in the spring. Where will you be in March? We merged so that I could feel vitality again and also so that we could travel quickly back to his tree cave at the swamp. Once there, he made a tea of local plants that he brewed over a fire in the cave. The tea was going to replace the insides of me that had been lost. As I drank it, I asked if he could help me discover what happened to me, if anything, that may be causing my pain. He lay me down and moved his hands across me. There has been a lot of healing already, he said. There is a resilience here. He indicated my stomach area. I could tell that did not mean that I was healed or that nothing happened, but that I had protected myself for a long time. Those reinforcements were apparent. At this time, the Callback sounded. Reeds Blowing said that we would continue the work another time. I thanked him and returned, thanking the Black Tree on my way past. Thanks to Hummingbird, as well! Returned to OR |
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