Drum Journey (Self-drumming): ~10 minutes
I went to Lower World to meet with all my helping spirits at the Sacred Fire. I had received the notice that I passed the MFT exam four days earlier and wanted to give thanks. I greeted all the helping spirits and gave them an offering of fruits, vegetables, and wildflowers. Reeds Blowing came and offered congratulations to me from all. He told me, You are now Nashawe. He fashioned a heart out of bird feathers as well as animal fur, skin, and sinew. He replaced my heart with this one. He then wrapped a long cape over me, made with woven flowers. Here, you will now be known as Nashawe, place where two rivers meet. You connect the spirit world with the world of man. I asked if it was all right to use the name in ordinary reality. Reeds Blowing said I could use it with respect and not exploit it or its reverence. I gave thanks to every helping spirit. Reeds Blowing told me to return for an official initiation later, which I agreed to do. Callback and return to OR
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Drum Journey (Recorded drumming): ~15 minutes
My intention was to discover what was at the source of my leg pain and emotional pain. Was there some traumatic event from my past that I have been blocking and it is now manifesting in physical pain? I was called to Upper World. This time when I arrived, it was not at the usual location. Typically I travel up and up, then am guided to the right, where the entrance to UW is. This time, I traveled straight up until I saw the pink membrane separating worlds. I passed through it, and found myself at the edge of the White Forest. I walked along the squishy pink membrane until I reached the forest. Hummingbird arrived to guide me. I asked if we were going to see Reeds Blowing, and Hummingbird said we were. I was happy because I haven't visited him in some time. I began, with Hummingbird's help, to gather my usual offering of wildflowers. Hummingbird brought me a branch of berries. I found a purple lupine and some yellow flowers as well. Suddenly, I became aware of a heavy pressure in my center. My torso was dark and lead-like. I was unable to move much farther. I lay down on the forest floor and told Hummingbird I could not walk anymore. Presently, the ground swallowed me up and I lay a couple of feet or so beneath the surface. I felt the cold of the soil and smelled its richness. I could breathe, but I could not move my hands or legs. It was not unpleasant, although I wondered what was happening. Just then, my insides sprouted. The black, lead-like presence was a seed that was germinating out of my body. Very quickly, the sprout became a large black tree with rainbow-colored leaves. I rolled out from under the tree and came to the surface where I lay and looked up at the tree. My center was hollow, but my body was sealed up. as I looked at the tree, I saw that a good number of the leaves were becoming black. Hummingbird told me that this tree was directly connected to me and my life. The leaves were dying and it was my job to bring them back to their colorful state. "How do I do that?" I asked. You can't. Once they are dead, they are dead, he said. This task seemed impossible and I became sad. At this time, Reeds Blowing appeared behind me. We regarded the tree together. I explained what I had been told and lamented that I could not do what was asked of me. I had no idea how. Reeds Blowing reminded me that leaves drop with the season. Perhaps all these leaves will die, but there will be buds in the spring. Where will you be in March? We merged so that I could feel vitality again and also so that we could travel quickly back to his tree cave at the swamp. Once there, he made a tea of local plants that he brewed over a fire in the cave. The tea was going to replace the insides of me that had been lost. As I drank it, I asked if he could help me discover what happened to me, if anything, that may be causing my pain. He lay me down and moved his hands across me. There has been a lot of healing already, he said. There is a resilience here. He indicated my stomach area. I could tell that did not mean that I was healed or that nothing happened, but that I had protected myself for a long time. Those reinforcements were apparent. At this time, the Callback sounded. Reeds Blowing said that we would continue the work another time. I thanked him and returned, thanking the Black Tree on my way past. Thanks to Hummingbird, as well! Returned to OR Drum Journey (Recorded drumming): ~15 minutes
Note: I have had a debilitating pain in my right hip for about three months now. It thought it was due to an ongoing Piriformis issue I've had, but this seems to be getting worse, causing considerable problems with mobility and daily comfort. I have had chiropractic, massage therapy, yoga/stretching, medication and meditation, but nothing seems to work. I realize that it is emotional in part, and also perhaps something to do with perimenopause. I wanted to discover what else might be at work. Upper World Immediately went to Grandmother's house. As I traveled, I could see flashes of her preparing the space for me. When I arrived, there was a cot for me to lie on and a poultice of some sort that she was preparing. When I lay down, she placed her hands on my ailing hip and a flood of maternal warmth moved through me and made me cry. She placed the poultice of damp leaves on me. I asked what they were. She told me they were fennel and another herb I didn't recognize ("Amanthia"? "Omathia"?). I cannot remember it now very clearly. Grandmother told me that I was full of blood and needed to bleed. The muscles around my uterus are trying to hold on to me, hold onto youth and not release toward older age. My mind may have accepted my age, but my body has not. Ironically, by bleeding—a "youthful" thing to do—I will release the tension in my pelvic region. Grandmother told me there was a lot of mother line trauma and sent my uterus flying out the room, on wings, collecting the stories of my female ancestors in my mother's lineage. I saw a lot of male oppression and violence toward women, but I also felt self-conscious that I was simply making all this up. I told this to Grandmother, who was now applying the poultice on my injured muscles, inside my body. "Maybe one day I will be worthy of you," I told her. She continued to work on me. Eventually, the uterus came back. She squeezed the blood and story residue out of it and replaced it in my body. She covered it with her warm hands and sent healing there. Also, she wrapped a sheet of hot light around my hips and pressed them in place. I lay there for a while allowing the heat to seep in and heal me. At this time, the Callback sounded. I thanked Grandmother and returned to OR. Drum Journey (Recorded drumming): ~15 minutes
Lower World Grey Wolf Mother accompanied me to the hot spring entrance in spirit form, as she had left with me before. We arrived together, and she again assumed full form as we reached LW. We walked to the Sacred Fire Circle, where all the CHSes were gathered. GWM sat in front of Reeds Blowing. Reed Blowing spoke, saying: You have accomplished the task you set out to accomplish. regardless of the outcome, we are with you always. I spoke afterward, thanking everyone, especially GWM and RB. Great Walker came out and placed a red mark on my left shoulder, I was not certain what this was for. My Nashawe symbol came ot life on my right leg. GW began to drum. He asked me to drum and dance with him, which I did. The others began to sing/vocalize in their respective ways: GWM howled, Frog chirped, the wings of Hummingbird whirred, Tree rustled its leaves, Grandmother sang a low tone, RB chanted, Bell'ana made the song of the spheres, Turtle croaked and drummed his shell, Owl hooted, Black Hawk cried, Snake hissed, Raccoon chittered... After some time, they all took a piece of my body away and performed their own work on it. My energy merged with the fire until they were done. As the Callback sounded, my pieces came flying back together and I was whole again. I thanked everyone and expressed that I was sad to leave GWM in LW. I was grateful for her protection. Return to OR Drum Journey (Recorded drumming): ~15 minutes
Lower World As I began my journey to LW, descending the rocks that lead to the hot springs, I felt as though the spirit of Grey Wolf Mother was with me. In fact, as I dove into the spring, I could feel her jump in next to me and travel all the way down. I landed in my usual stance—one knee down, bent, hand on the ground to steady me—I felt her land beside me, only now she was not in spirit form anymore, but fully visible to me. She urged me to walk with her, then climb on her back. Once I did, I merged with her—front legs were my arms and hands, back legs were my legs—and we ran through the terrains of LW. Soon, she/we became giant and we covered much more ground. She/we stopped at the edge of a field. She walked very deliberately through the field to a forest, then into the thick of the forest. There, we found a clearing where there was a fire already made. I unmerged and sat with her by the fire. "I wish Reeds Blowing were here as well," I said. And then he was. He sat opposite me, next to Grey Wolf Mother. Grey Wolf Mother has been my companion—our companion—for a very long time. She has helped in times of confusion and fear. She has attacked enemies and eaten them. GWM's mouth was suddenly full of blood. She licked her lips and it disappeared. "Did you ever have confusion and fear?" I asked. When I was in the human world and torn by human concerns. She was there for me then. She is here for you now. RB put a hand on GWM's head and she licked his face. She will be strong for you and help you through this journey. Your time of Nashawe is coming close. GWM came to me and I thought she might be loving to me as well. I was not afraid, but I could soon tell she was not about to lick me. Instead, she bit my left hand, then my right. It did not hurt, but it was shocking. She licked the blood from each of my hands. Now she has your blood in her. She is connected to you. [I began to weep in OR.] GWM went back over to RB and lay down next to him. But she soon bolted upright and looked off to my left. Thundering sound. A huge elephant stormed through the forest and stopped at the edge of our clearing. GWM began to howl in what I assumed was a greeting. Elephant responded with a loud trumpeting call. Elephant then curled its trunk around me and hoisted me in the air. RB laughed, Never forget! For your exam. You won't forget what you need to know. "A bit obvious, don't you think?" I joked. Elephant put me down and RB came to me. We will all be here for you. He wrapped his cloak around me and then placed his hands on my shoulders. Just then Hummingbird arrived and hovered by my ear. He placed something in each ear (liquid) with his tongue. Maybe spirit saliva. Who knows? Then GWM let me know we needed to return. I merged with her again and we came back to the Sacred Fire Circle by the LW entrance point. Elephant came with us, running and bounding across the landscape. I thanked them all (RB and Hummingbird remotely), then prepared to return. GWM leapt into the tunnel with me, again assuming spirit form. Callback When I arrived at the top of the hot springs, she jumped up and walked with me up to the cliff edge. Return to OR |
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