Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
During my morning meditation, I received a call to journey. I had no intention except to find out for what I was being called. I was immediately drawn to Upper World. Upper World: I entered and Teacher (Bell'anna) emerged from a stone in the walkway to the Hall of Knowledge. She took me into the main library, which had been redecorated into more of a rustic atmosphere, with wooden furniture and a small fire pit at the center. I sat there and she told me Grandmother would be joining us. Teacher brought down a large red book and handed it to me. These are the stories of your female ancestors, Teacher said. Grandmother had appeared now and was tending the fire as I looked through the book. I saw my mother, her mother, her mother, and so on. I saw men as well, being abusive to the women, physically, sexually, and emotionally. finally landed on an image of a smiling, upturned face of a woman who could have been in her 20s as easily as her 50s. Youthful and joyful. Your have entered the croning time. You have no daughters. This is your time to end the cycle of violence. Draw your power to you. The pain ends with you. Teacher handed me a staff that had a bird on top of it—a hawk?—which flew away, leaving the feathers behind attached to the top of the staff. The top was encrusted with gemstones (mainly moonstone) and had a smooth space where the hand would go. The base was orange and red with fire colors and from it came vines that snaked up the staff in various shades of green. This is your crone staff, Nashawe. You will recreate it in Ordinary Reality. She threw it on the fire, where Grandmother poked at it. The staff dissolved into sparks of fire. It will be here for you when you are in Non-ordinary Reality, Teacher told me. Then, Grandmother gave me a capsule, which I swallowed. This is moss beneath the Tree of Knowledge outside of my home, Grandmother said. Let it fill you with ancestral knowledge and belief in your own experience. You are no longer a child. You are stepping into elder. You will come to us for more training, but it is time for you to embrace your own knowledge and share it. I sat for a moment with my teachers and watched the fire. Callback sounded. I thanked them both deeply and returned.
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Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
Note: This journey took place on 1/11/2019 I went to Lower World to meet again with all my helping spirits at the Sacred Fire. To my surprise, we all lifted in the air and flew north across LW to a large field. The helping spirits all circled around me and the Sacred Fire also appeared in the center of the circle. Reeds Blowing came forward and announced that From now forward you will be known as Nashawe in this place. This will be your name. This is who you are. He handed me a long staff that had blue fabric wrapped around it, and glistening stones embedded in it. There were also owl feathers (donated from Owl) hanging from the top. I was given a flower crown and a waist wrap that kept changing colors.* Then, each one of the helping spirits came and greeted me as Nashawe, some with a gift and some with a hug or a small bow. It was a brief but very satisfying journey. I felt connected and peaceful when the callback came. I thanked all the helping spirits and returned to OR. *I had just taken psilocybin, so that might have influenced it, but I believe it was too early in the trip to have had this visualization. I rather think that my traveling mind was indecisive. :) Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
Upper World Note: I had a difficult time beginning the journey because I was thinking about the workshop I led the day before: Introduction to Shamanic Journeying. There were five women, all of whom were new to shamanism. After a few minutes, I was able to make it to Upper World. From the moment I arrived, I felt an urgency to see Reeds Blowing. I ran all the way to his tree cave, leaving an offering of wildflower heads surrounding the triangular Taos stone I had brought to the workshop the day before (to use as a "talking stone"). I was distraught, concerned that I had not done the workshop well by spirit standards (!). I felt I had not been able to answer well the challenging questions and comments I got from one workshop attendee: Why power animals? Is there danger in the spirit world? The drum callback sounds threatening to me... Reed Blowing took the stone and blessed it. He smiled and said that I had answered fine; I explained (there is no real danger, only what you may not yet be ready to see) gave examples (I was bitten by a snake on my first journey. Later it was explained this may have been an early dismemberment.), I told her what she needed to know (According to the teachings, there was a time when animals and humans spoke the same language. Journeying is our way to reestablish our connection.). Next time, I could say that "these are the teachings" and leave it at that. As for the threatening callback (which I did not address), I could say that it is a matter of perception. Come, he said, it is time for your drumming lesson. We walked behind his tree and into a clearing at the base of a mountain. There was a large pow-wow drum on the ground. Great Walker stood at one edge. Reeds Blowing stood near him at the drum. I stood opposite Reeds Blowing. We began drumming in unison. Soon, Bell'anna joined us. The sound of the drum was incredible. The vibrations shook the land and air around us. The vibrations turned deep pink and rose in a column to the atmosphere. It surrounded Upper World and encased it in a circle of sound. The vibrations shook us and all around us.I envisioned the cells in my body all moving and re-energizing. The field enveloping UW released and the column went back into the drum, then moved out forcefully into each of the drummers. Once the drumming stopped, I sat on the ground. Great Walker handed me my drum, and told me to drum now. As I did, I saw the vision of the buffalo whose hide covers my drum. He was majestic and black-furred. I saw his watery eyes. He grazed and ambled through the field. I was amazed by his beauty. I then saw his death and the process of his skinning—blood and sinew. I tried to imagine the shift from living to dead, from spirit inhabiting the body to the skin on the wooden worktable, drying. I saw Lee Lujan receiving the skin. Working it. Making this drum. I saw the Cottonwood tree. I moved through its seasons. Buds and leaves and decay and buds again. I saw bugs and birds making homes in it. I saw its bark forming and shedding over the years. I saw it being cut down... Callback I thanked my teachers and returned. Return to Ordinary Reality. Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
Upper World I was called to the Hall of Knowledge. When I entered the library, the ornate room full of books, tables, and reading chairs changed into an Algonquin longhouse. At one end, I saw Great Walker making a drum. This will be your final project after the initiation. You will make your own drum. I asked what it should be made of. Deer, likely. There are many where you live and you are connected to them. They can carry you on your journeys. "What kind of wood?" I asked. Maple, cedar... That is not as important as every tree is connected to you and you to it. I asked what my lesson was for this visit. Great Walker moved a long table that was in the center of the longhouse. Underneath it was a long pit for fires. He lit it and told me that today I would learn the foot movements for drumming. When moving around a circle, the steps are:
When standing still, the steps are:
Next, Great Walker told me that the beads for the necklace will come. I am to make a necklace that will be worn during ceremonies. The beads must be white and made of either stone, clay, or deer bone. Finally, Great Walker told me that I was invited to merge with him when drumming for others' journeys if I wish. It may be helpful especially at the beginning. I could call him before the merge by playing the heartbeat rhythm on the drum. I asked if I could merge with him now so that I could feel what it was like. He agreed. When I merged, I immediately felt power in my muscles. As we drummed, I felt a clear connection between the drum and my/his/our heart. The heart seemed to resonate with each beat, triangulating the drummer, the drum and the heart. I also felt Great Walker's old-body, like scars of a human form that were distant and infused with spirit energy. We drummed together for some time. Callback I disengaged and thanked Great Walker before returning. Return to Ordinary Reality Drum Journey (Recording): ~15 minutes
Upper World When I arrived, I headed to the Hall of Knowledge and retrieved my drum from the nook in the wall. I walked behind the Hall, not sure where I was supposed to be going, and no one was there to assist me. As I walked farther, the ground began to give out underneath me and I slid down into a ravine. At the bottom, there was a fire and what looked to be a circle of people. When I landed from the fall, I could see it was Spirit of the Drum alone. He was still wearing the white beaded headdress and breastplate. He was drumming and offered me to receive the healing he was giving. He raised his drum and beat it to the sky, then told me to see the rhythm of the drum. I saw spirit scooped up in the bowl of the drum, then sent to my body. I was outside the image, looking at it. Spirit of the Drum told me to receive the healing myself. In other words, step in. It took me two tries but I was able to step in and stay present to receive the healing drum energy. This did not feel exactly like the Tuvan drum healing I had learned and seen, because I was seeing the energy where I had not before (I had only felt it). I also felt the drum energy blast through my chest, which was very blocked with grief. After a few healing rounds, we sat at the fire and I asked Spirit of the Drum for my next lesson. But first, I asked if he had a name I could call him by. He gave me a difficult name that made no sense. We both laughed. You could call me Healer, he said. I told him that I might as well call him shaman. He nodded and smiled. In my tribe, I am called Great Walker. You can call me that. You are in the same tribe, after all. You were once a great walker yourself. And I am your spiritual ancestor. And this grief you carry. This trying to be of the world you are in. There is no need for it. You do not have to fit there. If you try, you will always fail because you are not of that world. Your healer friend* in Ordinary Reality was right: You have always been an orphan. Your Ordinary Reality world is not your real family. You are of the spirit world, just visiting Ordinary Reality. We all do! That is why there is no need even to fear death. That fear is also taught to you by Ordinary Reality thinking. There is suffering in that thinking. There is suffering in your trying to fit. You already have connection. You can be in both worlds. You know this, which is why your tears reach you now even in Ordinary Reality. I told Great Walker that I felt I was losing my connection in the journey. He said I was supposed to; that is the lesson: Being fluid between the worlds. We spent the rest of the time drumming together. Callback I thanked Great Walker, I thanked and returned my drum to its place, then returned. Return to Ordinary Reality *Abdi Assadi |
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